The next two weeks are so jam packed with stuff that when I look at my calendar I start to get a bit woozy. I haven’t been home a single night this week. I’ve been meeting clients, attended events, networking, making pictures and hustling like a crazy woman. Next week is more of the same. I am in that panicky state of feeling overwhelmed where I can’t focus on a single task because there is this gnawing feeling that I’m supposed to be doing something else or that I’m forgetting something. So nothing is getting all the way finished. I am a scattered mess. I have a thousand pots on a four burner stove and something is starting to burn. I’m pretty sure it’s my brain.
I thought the kids going back to school was going to free me up a bit more and I think it was that wildly incorrect assumption that caused the most severe over scheduling of myself I’ve ever done. I keep looking at my calendar and thinking, “WHY DID I SAY YES TO THIS?” Not that I’ve regretted a single thing, I’ve actually had some really great things happen. It’s just more that my house looks like a bomb went off in it, my desk is covered in papers, unscanned receipts and empty coffee cups and my poor family hasn’t eaten a home cooked meal in nearly three weeks. This morning as I ran to take my daughter to school and FINALLY pick up the antibiotics I’ve needed for almost a month I felt like I wasn’t going to make it through another day. There is just so damn much to do.
And then, as I dropped my daughter off at school after parking on a side street so she could quickly finish up her homework, she jumped from the car and yelled back, “I love you! You’re the best mom in the world!” before she slammed the door and was off to the hallowed halls of fourth grade. I’m not stupid enough to think I’m the best mom in the world. I am not even stupid enough to think I’m a very good mom. But I do know that the words of my girl this morning set me right. They bolstered me up and gave me just a little more energy and hope to get through today. Those words make me feel like I might be doing a good job after all. And sometimes, that is all we really need. I am SO happy I was able to HEAR those words today. I am so happy I was able to not let them bounce off me as I so often do. But I took them in and allowed them to comfort my poor, frazzled soul.
Also, my husband just texted that he’s bringing me home Chipotle for lunch. So, clearly he is the world’s best husband and now I won’t eat animal crackers and olives for lunch. Today is looking up.