I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to be able to move tomorrow. Sarah abused me with a kettlbell workout yesterday and I pushed myself pretty hard on my run this morning. I will tell you, those string of words are not ones that I use very often. Or ever. Actually, this may be the very first time I’ve ever used those words together in a sentence.
Well, there’s a first time for everything I guess.
I’m not familiar with the fitness world. I am pretty terrified of group workouts. This is mostly because I don’t (usually) like to be around other people when I work out. I’ve avoided most classes or circuit training at the gym because I don’t think I will be able to do the workouts and I’m going to be embarrassed. I’ve rarely even attempted weights or the weight machines because NO. I can’t hang with that group. I’ve always been too scared to try something new or I put obstacles in my own way to save myself from embarrassment and pain or messing up.
I think that’s why I’ve always stuck to running, walking and being by myself. It was easier to keep myself going if I felt like no one could judge me. It was much easier to pretend no one was watching when I was out on a run.
A few years ago, I had gotten out of the habit of running or walking…or really doing any exercise at all. Life was incredibly stressful and finding time for me was next to impossible. Getting up for 5am run wasn’t something I could do anymore. Or so I thought. Not long after my running hiatus, my body was pretty run down from stress and REALLY not taking care of myself and I got this weird virus that knocked me on my ass. Much like someone with mono, it took months and months (probably more) before I felt more like myself. I, eventually, started running (but mostly walking) again. But it was even harder than before. That sucked.
Last year was really hard on me mentally AND physically. I started walking and running with a tiny bit more regularity but there were moments when the stress and, again, not taking very good care of myself took its toll and I felt much like I did years before. I was often putting terrible fuel in my body. Not getting enough sleep at ALL. I put off doctor appointments and even a dental procedure that I had been avoiding for more than half of the year. I felt crappy all of the time.
The silver lining in all of this was #TeamCCM.
Regular movement of any kind is what saved my bacon. (Great. Now I want bacon.) Keeping my body in motion allowed me to feel better and better, little bits at a time. I got better about avoiding certain foods that really made my body hurt. (Not great, but BETTER at it. This is still something I’m working on.) I took care of that stupid dental procedure that I had been avoiding. Yes, it was as awful as I thought it was going to be but, honestly, was probably a huge part of the problem of feeling so crappy for so long. (Thanks, body, for being so prone to weird-ass infections!) But I honestly believe that it was the regular activity and movement that helped me feel so much better. I would much rather my muscles be sore from a hard workout than my body be in pain from treating it poorly and stupid, stupid inflammation.
* * *
It’s gotten rather hard to see the screen as I type because I couldn’t have done any of this and gotten back to running without #TeamCCM. I most especially wouldn’t have been able to get out there when it was so (SO!) damn hard without the love and support from my running buddies and two of the best friends a gal could ever have. I wanted to give up all the time…but I couldn’t because I didn’t want to let down those badass ladies. No one ever WANTS to get up at 5-something in the morning, but I find myself really looking forward to seeing those gals and our chatter. Plus, it means the world to me that they somehow always seem to hold me accountable. Even if they have crazy ideas about kettlebells!
Hey, nobody’s perfect!
(Okay, okay…I’m actually really grateful for their crazy ideas about kettlebells because it’s high time I learn how to get a little stronger. And yes, I prefer Sarah’s garage to a class at the gym. Damn straight.)
Believe it or not, through our running co-dependency, which I have decided is super healthy, we have also found our own personal strength. As we train for Shamrock’n, we have encouraged one another to take a couple of the weekly training runs and put them on our own schedule and a little more on our own. That doesn’t mean we can’t meet up for the run…it just means that we can feel free to do it at a different time. We are still getting together for our two longer runs during the week and I feel incredibly proud of all three of us that we’re sticking to it – even if it looks a little different than before.
So yeah…I’m pretty excited about these REALLY sore muscles I’m sporting right now. It’s a good reminder of how far I’ve come even though I am very aware how far I have to go. Hopefully I won’t have to tell Sarah to go easy on me with these kettlebells for much more. I’ll be ready to push myself even further.